Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The Process of Healing & Seeking knowledge


Chance Thomas Video Healing & Memories are in abundance


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

It Must be Love


I was in the process of a lengthy divorce, and my house had sold in one day.  I was packing when I received notice that personal property appraisers would be coming through and I was to stop the packing process.  This left me in a quandary.  I had over 2000 square feet to box up and move in a very limited amount of time. 

I walked out my back door enjoying the sunshine and wandered my back yard.  It was early spring and the bulbs were peaking up from their hiding places in the soft soil. Their green shoots were reaching for the sun waiting expectantly to burst into colorful blooms.  I was going to miss my home and the beautiful gardens that I had cared for and created with love.  The memories came flooding back.  So many wonderful years in this home.  I could almost hear the pitter patter of feet running across the patio, echoing from years gone by.

I walked past the pond and watched the gold fish that I had never expected to survive surface, their mouths opening and closing as if to bode me farewell. They watched me in anticipation of the flakes of food I tossed into the water.  So many memories were assaulting me.  I gazed at the fruit trees with their buds barely visible.  I thought of the time I spent picking the berries that grew in rows along the back fence.  I remembered the hours of fun our kids and grandkids had spent in the pool.  It was now green with algae and I wondered if the new owners would know how to care for it.

It was all lost now.   I walked the brick paths of the little English garden and I cried.  There was both pain and happiness in my little piece of heaven now.  I loved the feel of the rustic fence that was bound by twine.   Twigs and sticks were imprinted in my mind as they stood proudly against the backdrop of my  garden. 
      
        It now was time to move forward towards a new life I thought as I walked back towards the house.  I needed to find myself in the present and quit looking back to the past.  I knew it was okay to be sad for what was and that wallowing in my recollections for a time, was okay.

            At this point Seth and I had been seeing each other for a few months.  I was becoming anxious.  There had been delay after delay.  I called and asked him, “How am I going to pack an entire household and find a new place in a couple of weeks’ time?”  It didn’t seem plausible given the time constraints.

       Seth knocked on my door later that same afternoon.  We sat in my comfortable and colorful living room and Seth suggested that I should move in with him. To me it seemed the perfect temporary solution at that time.  I was crazy about this man who had embedded himself into my life.  We molded well and he was both accommodating and loving.           
    
     I rented storage units and resumed with my packing.  I still had no idea how I was going to get it completed on time.  Seth came up with another idea that worked well for me; he suggested that I finish storing what I needed, and turn the rest over to my ex-husband to complete.  After all Seth asked me, “Why are you solely responsible?”  He had a valid point, and there began my ten years of hell. 

I would later see that his thought processes are not the norm.  His logic defied all logic, and he was hypocrisy at its finest.  His twisted way of thinking knew no bounds and amounted to skewing facts and circumstance.  This has been a wild ride.  Don’t get me wrong, I did appreciate his suggestion at the time.

 

My walk into the flames…

 







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