From Pearls to Swine

Seth had often told me about a past relationship that he felt in part, had come to an abrupt halt because she had shared details of their relationship with others.  He had started instilling in me early on that it was wrong to discuss our problems with others.  Looking back this was a mission in his brainwashing process.  I wasn’t to talk about what he was doing to me, or look for validation from an outside source that his treatment or words were damaging and demoralizing.  Had I listened to Seth I may have lost my marbles altogether.  Eventually I would start talking and find it difficult to keep quiet.  I felt I was losing my mind and could no longer concentrate or complete a simple task without hearing his words echoing within my head.  He was consuming me.  

     It was as if I was caught up in a vortex and couldn't catch my breath, or ever get my balance.  Nothing I did made him happy.  I didn’t realize then it wasn’t up to me, and it was a choice he had made on his own.  He chose to be miserable.  It was as if he couldn’t bear to see me feel joy or happiness.  If he couldn’t have it, then neither could I.  I was becoming a dim version of my former self.